Dear diary...

Wow you don’t even care.

I still don’t know why WHY would you keep hurting me.

You say you fucking miss me, you say I make you wanna cry but you don’t even answer my texts.

Im an idiot.

Written on Thursday 23, 2012

Yes. A language that will at last say what we have to say. For our words no longer correspond to the world. When things were whole, we felt confident that our words could express them. But little by little these things have broken apart, shattered, collapsed into chaos. And yet our words have remained the same. Hence, every time we try to speak of what we see, we speak falsely, distorting the very thing we are trying to represent. […] Consider a word that refers to a thing- “ umbrella”, for example. […] Not only is an umbrella a thing, it is a thing that performs a function. […] What happens when a thing no longer performs its function? […] the umbrella ceases to be an umbrella. It has changed into something else. The word, however, has remained the same. Therefore it can no longer express the thing. - Paul Auster, The New York Trilogy. (via theyrerealandspectacular)

(Source: gallifreyandemigod)

Written on Wednesday 15, 2012

I haven’t got my period in like 3 months because I was stressed.

Remember how I said I was ok?

Well, I am. I got my period today.

I am ok.

Written on Sunday 05, 2012
me, personal, dear diary, period, stress,

(via gallifreyandemigod)

Written on Friday 03, 2012

Friday - August 3rd 2012

I’m doing fine.

I actually am. I mean, I’M NOT GREAT but I’m fine.

I don’t want a relationship soon. I don’t want him back. I don’t pity myself anymore. So that’s fine. I see couples and I hate them tho. Haahahaha and I do miss him.

But I don’t know. I pity him more than anything.

He’s 27, he doesn’t believe in relationships, he doesn’t believe in being a father, he takes this as a burden. He can’t see that there’s a lot to win. A lot to enjoy. He misses me like hell. He goes to bed thinking of me, he textes me all day. And he’s adorable. But he likes being alone. And I bet he does now. But I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that when he’s 50 years old, he will be happy alone. He’ll sat alone at his house, watching tv and he’ll be alone. I don’t think he’ll be happy. And that kinda kills me.

But well, I’m thinking of me now. I’m ok. I really do miss having a boyfriend. But I need to learn to be with myself. I’m pretty cool to hang around.

So, for now, I’m trying to be happy.

theyrerealandspectacular:

Whenever I’m bored, I miss you.

Right now I’m bored.

I’m really jealous, you got home at 10 am in the morning, and I feel like you don’t care. I know you don’t care. And that kills me.

The worst part is, you do care. In your own twisted way. You do miss me. You just don’t want the whole responsability that comes with a relationship.

Fuck it. Fuck you too. I’m great. So I know it’s your loss. But I can’t help to miss you. To sleep in your bed. And your hugs.

But again. Fuck you.

I’m awesome.

(Source: gallifreyandemigod)